Once again I am awake when I should be sleeping. I have been up since about 3am. My stomach is killing me. I didn't eat much yesterday cause most foods are upsetting. The stress is just unbearable at times. I have headaches/migraines...one right now, ulcers and am aging more than I should and it is all from the stress in my life.

I have got to get rid of the stress before it kills me! It doesn't help that I am a person who tends to worry all the time. To the point that I get sick..got that from my grandmother.

Miami is sounding like the place we want to be! I am sure the boys will love living there. And the only thing to say is....WHEN do we leave! Oh ya there is a DA stopping me...but that can be fixed. Just not easy even if I take the easy way out. But once we move there at least I will have family there :)

I am so tired!! I want to sleep. Why can't I just tell my brain to go to sleep. I hate it. This morning (3am) I was awaken by the dang dog falling off the back of the couch onto my chest with a thump. After I got her situated I rolled over to go back to sleep. As I closed my eyes I immediately thought of the day before and all the things that took place and I felt a sense of rage. How dare he put us in harms way. I know you don't know what I am talking about. I don't know what the eff is going on either I just know that where BJs name is involved it is NOT ever good. Gosh who did I ever think I was? His wife. Someone who should know everything about him? OMG! What a tard! I have a H and I don't know who he is. I know very little about him. I know he loves to ski, snowmobile and leave us all the time. That is it!! And I hate not knowing what the heck is going on when it has everything to do with our children and my self. It may not be directed toward us but it will affect us...as it always does.

delete........too effed up.